In the Tarot, harmonious love and connection between two people is beautifully represented by the Two of Cups. While the card shows a man and a woman, its symbolism can apply to any meaningful relationship—romantic, familial, or platonic.

The imagery reveals something essential about the nature of connection. Each person arrives with a “cup”—a reservoir of love and emotional availability. We offer from our cup, and hope to receive in kind. Relationships are deeply fulfilling when there’s a mutual exchange, where both individuals give and receive in equal measure.

And indeed, many relationships begin this way: open-hearted, generous, and full of promise. But as is the case for many relationships over time, something in the foundation eventually breaks down. Cracks form as resentment builds. What remains is frustration and fatigue with only fleeting glimpses of that original joy and harmony.

Why does this happen? Why do so many relationships fall apart?

The answer is simple: One or both individuals never learned how to hold their cup.

Perhaps one of them is traumatized and unhealed. They don’t know how to respond to their emotional triggers - whether it’s something someone says, the news, or life circumstances. Their unconscious pattern is to lash out, panic and flail like a wounded animal instead of rest in presence and allow space for healing.

The result? Their cup spills.

The sacred water—the love, attention, and care that was poured into them—is wasted through needless conflict, criticism, stress, and neglect. Instead of gratitude for what’s been received, the person empties their cup through reactivity. And once it’s empty, they may demand even more in their thirst.

Meanwhile, the other person—perhaps unaware of the value of their own cup—may keep giving to this dynamic. Out of guilt, out of fear, out of duty. Until they too are drained.

What’s left are two empty cups.

And two individuals feeling unseen, unloved, and unmet.

The answer is not to give endlessly. Nor is it to assume that others have an infinite reserve to offer from. The answer is to treat our cup as sacred. To neither carelessly give. Nor carelessly spill. And the only way to do this is to have a steady hand and sound judgment, which can only come from a peaceful inner spirit.

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is placed above love and belonging. But this is misguided. The inner peace associated with self-transcendence is not a luxury, but a basic requirement for fulfilling relationships. In fact, it is an essential foundation for all of daily living.

In truth, there is an infinite amount of love available to us—an ever-present wellspring we can access when we rest in presence. But we are finite vessels bound by time and space. In presence, our cup gradually refills, but rarely at the same pace at which we empty it.

Nevertheless, just as the body knows how to heal when we stop interfering, the heart too knows how to replenish—given time, space, and calm presence.

Peace, then, is not simply what sustains relationship—it’s what restores us when we are depleted. It allows the cup to refill. It teaches us to give from overflow, not obligation. It keeps us fulfilled.

Relationships—while beautiful, nourishing, and meaningful—are not necessary for inner peace.

But inner peace is necessary for meaningful relationship.

Peace is the soil.

Love is the flower.

Tend to the soil.